Seeing things for what they are, is a tricky business. I relearned this week that the human mind, before it hears or accepts any new information, grapples with it first and decides where it will put it.
You decide your response before you listen.
You don’t respond, you seek a reason to move on.
This means that depending on your mood, your well-being, your prejudices and biases, you will hear and hear again, and not understand. Which explains why some people cannot see the terror they are inflicting on others, not that this excuses them in any way, shape, or form.
We see what we want to see.
We see what we have been preconditioned to see. What we accepted to be the truth.
Case in point.
Up here in Canada, it’s hockey season. My son has once again decided, or was somewhat encouraged, to lace up his skates yet again. He plays in a House League, and it is a noticeable difference from the Rep hockey experience. He is a beautiful eight years old boy and we are trying to shield him from any possible concussions, or unrealistic expectations of winning at all cost.
House league is perfect for us. There is less pressure, a bit less nutty parents, and just about less of everything for that matter.
If our goal for him was to become a professional Hockey player, House League would be a mistake, but we are willing to take that risk. Choosing instead to expose him to art and music, or perhaps to a memorable, happy, carefree childhood.
The last game he played, our team won 7-1.
It was clear from the very beginning that this would be an uneven contest. Our parents cheered their kids, right to the very end. They cheered loudly. The clapped loudly. They cheered on the first goal, with the same enthusiasm and tenacity, as they did the seventh.
And that was the problem.
A parent from the other team became livid and insatiably angry. They ranted and raved. Thrashed and cried. Told anyone that would listen about the insolent sportsmanship they were witnessing. They complained to the league convener. They tried everything they could, to right a wrong, and I would too, if I saw what they saw.
But I didn’t.
What they didn’t see or know is that five of the seven goals had been scored by kids who have never, ever scored before. Their parents, and grandparents were overcome with excitement, because it was something truly special to behold, and may not come around again.
I wonder how angry the parent would have been, if they knew the other side.
We see what we want to see.
When you dig for gold, you will either get discouraged by all the dirt you’ve fought through, or you will stay faithful and hopeful, that you have a good sense to believe that there is gold to be mined.
You should definitely always look for the gold.
Don’t get absorbed and buried by the dirt.
At the end of your life, your friends and family, will certainly do that part for you. But in the meantime, there is no reason to live the life you don’t want to live. There is no reason to become who you dream of being.
But perhaps there is.
That reason is you.
In the final analysis, it is you who decides what you see.
You will either see the rain that provides life to everything, or the relentless moisture that fucks up your new hairdo and spoils your wedding day.
You can either embrace the people that love and respect you, or bitch and moan about the people, who truly cannot stand you, even when you’re far away.
You can see your failures as a new beginning, or you can see them as another proof of your wretchedness.
You see, you see what you want to see.
You do what you want to do.
So search your heart and ask yourself why?
Don’t take the next step. Decide and know why you are taking the next step.
You don’t have to know where you are going, as long as you know where and who you no longer wish to be.
You must walk somewhere, so you might as well, step forward, with some courage, purpose, and a smile.
Happiness is not a state of doing, it is state of being.
So, begin to see things you might typically ignore.
Take the time to listen.
You were born with wonderful talent, so focus on the good you do.
Focus on where you want to be.
The rest is just a sea of endless possibilities.