Sometimes you make a commitment to do something you love and you go about executing your detailed plan perfectly. You go over every minute detail, seen or unseen. After much time you become very confident and prepared. Over-prepared even.
When you arrive, nothing is at it should be. You are shell shocked.
Up is down. Left is right. Big is small. Small is orange.
You have a sudden impulse to run back. To run to safety. You want to keep moving. Move anywhere. Move everywhere.
You want to get away from the uncertainty and futility of it all, wondering inside how you could have been so wrong? Why didn’t you see this?
Thankfully you are older now and questionably wiser. You understand the value of commitment, reliability, and integrity. You somehow misunderstood the opportunity. You are frazzled, but you stay still in the midst of a storm, and then something happens.
A thought. A little beam of light guiding you to a place of safety.
Perhaps where you are is the wrong place. Perhaps it is even the wrong time. But you are always you. You are always where you should be.
You never change. Your dreams remain. Your passion burns. Your mission challenges. They all remain your unwavering allies.
Perhaps you begin to question God or the spirit of the Universe, or perhaps you have no muse, and rock yourself to sleep every night, comforted by nothing.
Why did this happen to me? What is the purpose?
The little beam of light offers no answer, it is mute and only points to a new direction.
Stand still. Do what you are there to do. Do it well. When you are finished, go home. Crawl into bed. Lick your wounds and begin anew tomorrow.
In time, your mind will return to this exact moment. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, or perhaps a century from now. Who knows. When that day comes and you look back and consider where you reluctantly strayed, it will become abundantly clear why you were there and that it made all the difference.
Never quit. Always see things to the end.
Trust in the natural order of things. Trust yourself.
Have faith in a new tomorrow.