What cannot be said will be wept.
Sappho
It all has to be said. It has to be tried, attempted, overturned, and examined. Life is meant to be lived. It is meant to be explored, with a bit of tension of uncertainty. It was not designed for us to be mere spectators.
What you cannot say or do, you’ll regret. It is not a possibility or a probability it is a certainty. There is little doubt about it. When you choose to sit, timidly and shyly and when you let that lump in your throat inhibit your speech, you will break down and cry, you will drop to your knees in sadness, and you’ll leave this world with regret and mourn for what could have been.
Why is it so hard for us to say what we mean? Why are we so afraid of what people will think and how we are going to be judged? We run and hide. We choose paths that lead us to comfort. We pretend to be busy and excused from a life that does not and will not bring us the fulfilment we are looking for.
You have to learn to speak. You have to learn how to think and you have to give yourself the necessary time to do both. You need time to be quiet. You need to enter into silence on a daily basis, so you can allow your mind to spin and show you what is going on deep inside your heart. Once you hear your thoughts, you have to make up your mind. Make up your mind what it is you want to do, how you are going to do it, and finally, you need to commit yourself to doing it.
Commitment is a funny thing. We pick a date and go back to the way things always were, but that is not useful. You need to commit yourself to saying what needs to be said and to doing what needs to be done. Say it and do it and never look at the consequences. There is nothing you say or do that can’t be made right again. There is always a way to be good again. We all love and embrace a good story of redemption.
But you cannot hide and weep. You’ve done too much weeping. Too much name calling. Spent too much time, living an anxious life and you remain silent. Silent about who you are. Silent about what you want. Afraid that if you take a chance, you will one day learn to regret your decision.
The opposite is true. If you go through the motions of life, if you focus on being busy or gathering nuts for the winter, you will undoubtedly learn to regret it. And regret is far uglier than perceived shame. You will forget what people say about you. Fear will subside and leave you alone after a while, but regret will be chained to you, until you decide someday to unchain yourself.
Why not today? If you can’t unchain yourself today. I you cannot speak what needs to be said today, than you will weep. You will weep bitter tears, and most of the time you will weep those tears alone.
It is not that hard to speak. It is not that hard to do something. It takes a bit of work and it takes a few words. Do it every day and soon you see it compound into something powerful that ultimate moves others and inspires them.
Save your tears. Learn to speak and by doing so spare the tears of others.
