This has been a soul searching weekend fall of twists and turns.

There is a Boudoir photographer from the States that I have greatly admired for years because there is something uniquely beautiful about her style. There is something that tells a story in each one of her images and that is something that I aim to emulate myself.

I’ve received several emails from her over the last several months offering coaching services by participating in an online course. For one reason or another, I would book the consultation session and just chicken out in the end, or the times that were available simply did not suit my purpose.

I think I knew deep inside that I would have a soul searching weekend.

On Saturday I had my consultation and I realized that I have failed at the business part of photography. I was very encouraged to know that my self confidence and ability behind the camera are my strength, and that the mistakes I have been making over the last fifteen years can be fixed and I can take my hobby and turn it into a viable business.

I think it’s important to turn our hobbies into businesses if it’s possible because that means that we will be paid to do work we choose to do, rather than find work others want us to do, so we can manage the remaining hours we have left.

I won’t lie. Singing up for this coaching experience was not an easy decision. It costs a substantial amount of money, and it’s not that the information is now worth it, but the risk is if I’ll be able to do what is necessary to apply that information.

I think I can. Waking up at 4:02am and writing this journal entry in my car while I wait for the coffee shop to open is probably a good indication of what is possible, but what is possible is not reality.

I has been a heck of a weekend. Especially since I was certain that because of the cost my wife would try to talk me out of it, but to my surprise she was extremely supportive and suggested we revisit our family budget to account for this expenditure.

I can look at this in one of two ways. One, it is a very expensive tool that I may or may not use, which will either get me what I want or leave me different but still wanting. On the other hand, I can treat this as an investment. An investment into who I am and let go to allow someone who has done it to guide me to see what possibilities lie ahead.

I have some work to do.


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