Rules are very important. After all they were created out of some necessity and help us to be very efficient and orderly. But it’s imperative if we are to experience any growth that they by systematically pushed and broken.

We have lots of rules.

This morning I faced an occupied men’s bathroom and an open women’s bathroom. I needed to go and faced a decision. Normally, I would wait, but at 6 o’clock in the morning, when a coffee shop is quiet and empty, this was a no brainer. I broke a rule. Yes, I put the seat back down, but that’s not really the issue here.

I broke a rule. I didn’t stand there, waiting my turn, I broke an otherwise good rule because it didn’t serve me very well.

Don’t misunderstand. I’m not suggesting giving in to your urges or immoral tendencies. God help you with all of that. I’m simply talking about the blindness with which we line up, wait, and follow.

It’s not always a good thing. Sometimes we are too polite. We don’t speak out of turn. We wait too long for others to change. We hope and we pray, when all we need to do is push some boundaries.

This is especially true is self development.

The best course of action is to break the rules right away. Say no to things you don’t want to do. Say no to things you know aren’t right. Speak up for yourself, even if that means someone is going to be mad at you, and if you’re breaking rules and pushing boundaries and nobody is mad at you, you are doing something wrong.

Say no. Say yes. Whatever you decide. Don’t whine and bitch about it. Don’t drag your feet. If you said yes, honour your commitment, but nothing is preventing you from breaking the rules and saying no.

But sometimes, we say yes. We commit to something that turns our quite differently than we had originally hoped. Sometimes its our work, or our dreams and sometimes its our relationships.

You might be smack in the middle of a relationship that is going just fine. You’ve settled into a good groove but is not what you imagined. You are neither in nor are you truly out. You’re waiting for a message delivered by the angles so you would know what to do. You’re waiting for that perfect moment. The right time to move on. You don’t want to hurt them. You care for them. You want to do the right thing, but there is no right way to do the right thing. No matter what you do, you’re going to make an unpleasant scene. You’re going to break a heart, so you might as well break some rules.

Sometimes you have to go through a red light. Preferably late at night when there is nobody coming the other way. Sometimes you take without sharing. Sometimes you share without taking. Sometimes the rules that are working, need to be broken, so that a new set of rules can be born.

Rules are very important but remember that rules were made for you. You were not made for the rules. So be open to the possibility that rules are not as permanent as you think them to be.

You don’t have to do anything rash and foolish.

But breaking a rule or two might not be a bad thing.


Cover photo generously provided by photographer Brendan Church via