I’m in the parking lot again. Drove one hour west and now I sit there waiting for Starbucks to open. Why do I do this? Why not get an extra hour of sleep? Why not find a job that is closer to home? Why all these questions at five o’clock in the morning?
I’m extremely grateful. I am grateful for everyone that is in my life and all the things I have experienced. All of them. Without questions, absolutely all of them. I am grateful and I look forward to what happens next and a nice dark, hot, cup of coffee is going to happen shortly.
I drove an hour east because we’ve made a decision some years ago to live in a small town. Far away from the city, where things are smaller, simpler, and different. I drive the distance I drive every day because I have no choice. It is impossible to find a teaching position where I lived and besides I really love the the people and the students I teach where I am.
The one thing I don’t do is complain. I will be honest that the drive does get to me, but even then I don’t complain about it. Some things are just necessary and there is absolutely no reason to complain about them. You either do something about it, or you simply shut the hell up and move on with your life. I move on with my life a lot.
I know that where I am and what I do is not forever. It is temporary, just like everything we do is temporary, but we convince ourselves that it is not. I think this is why I am able to be who I am and live the life I am living.
But not a day goes by that I am not surprised at the new life I am living, because this was not me two years ago. I know what happened to me, but I don’t know what happened to me. I am so grateful for having the insight and courage to say yes to new possibilities that I can’t imagine what my life would have been like if I didn’t do it.
I say yes a lot. I say yes to things and possibilities long before I know how to do anything. That is not how I lived before. I wouldn’t move. I wouldn’t try anything. I played shy, until I reluctantly and cautiously did something.
When opportunities and life experiences present themselves, my first instinct is to say yes. Yes! Why not? Then I get scared and ask my self, what the hell did I just sign up for and how am I ever going to successfully accomplish whatever it is that I jumped in to.
I do a lot more jumping these days. A lot more leaping in to the unknown that has made all the difference in my life and perhaps it can make a difference in yours.
You don’t have to be ready to take something on, you just have to take it on. You can learn and grow as you go along. I have forgotten that this is how life was when I was a child, and I am grateful for these little moments, waiting in a parking lot, an hour from home, because there is nothing like it in the world.
Cover photo generously provided by photographer John Matychuk.