Right now. Not tomorrow or next week or after that thing you have to do first, but right now.
Right now will work. Right now is a good time to begin something. This very moment is the best moment to revisit an old idea, or a forgotten dream. Right now is as good as any, because nothing extraordinary is going to happen tomorrow to make your decision to start any easier or more compelling.
Just begin. Keep going. Or begin all over again.
It won’t be easy. No, it won’t be easy, but I think we’re both old enough to be past that. Things that are worthwhile, dreams that are matter always demand a cost. A cost to be paid upfront. Even prayers. Our prayers are answered not because of the frequency or the sheer desperation of our asking, but after we have shown we are willing to sacrifice something to pay the cost.
There has to be a cost. It doesn’t seem fair, but it is. Why should everything in life be equal? Why should those who don’t plant reap the same harvest as those who sweat and do? It seems unjust and unnatural somehow, and so we have to get past what it will take to get there, because if we truly want something, it doesn’t matter what it will take to get there.
Take these journal entries for example. As a small boy who came to Canada at twelve I never received much formal training about spelling, syntax and grammar. I missed much of it in Poland either, because I simply wasn’t there. I was in grade seven when I arrived, in high school two years later and college, four years after that. I had to take some short cuts. Spelling, syntax and grammar was not high on the priority list. And so I make silly little spelling, syntax and grammar mistakes. My work is not perfect and I should probably edit it well before showing it to the world, but thats just it.
If I did that you wouldn’t read a single word. I would get there. I wouldn’t be able to pay the cost. I would sit there, editing, and editing. I would sit there second guessing my worth and the arrogance of my dreams, and so my cost, and the way I get to where I want to go is to let go, and look a bit foolish at times. The cost is looking flawed and imperfect. The cost is getting over myself and doing what I love to do.
I want to improve my spelling and syntax. I really do, but I want to be a writer and speaker far more than that. I get really excited about connecting with other people and helping them chase their dreams. I do not get excited at all over where the comma should go, and if a word needs to be hyphenated or not. You might, and for that I admire you.
You have to pay the cost and there is not better time to begin paying than right now. You may have to be foolish and tenacious. You may have to be misunderstood and uncertain. Your first set of steps might be timid and super heavy, but what do you have to lose?
Except your life.
Cover photo generously provided by photographer Jessica Lewis via unsplash.com