If we were truly honest with ourselves, we would painfully admit that we really don’t love ourselves that much. Perhaps we like ourselves somewhat. We put up with ourselves. But we don’t really love who we are. Or we don’t love enough. Or with enough intensity.
This is most noticeable when we examine how we treat other people. We treat them based on who we are, and how we see ourselves. We project our being onto theirs. Our response to other people is the perfect test ground to discover who we really are.
We also never gaze in the mirror. Or we do so without making eye contact.
The eyes are the window to the soul, and we don’t have time for religion and politics.
We don’t accept genuine compliments. We keep ourselves busy in order not to think about our human needs, wants, and desires. We don’t dare to dream, and some of us develop the dangerous idea that life only has value when we forget our selfish self and help to care for others. An idea that isolates us and puts such a burden on our lives.
Love one another as I have loved you.
That’s not a suggestion, it’s a commandment.
We have a responsibility to see ourselves as the wondrous human beings that we are.
We have a colourful past, somewhat checkered, and written with crooked lines. We swing back and forth between light and darkness. We sway to and from between love and hate. It is all true. But so is the fact that mistakes are an event. They are not a person. They are not you. Sin and wretchedness do not define you.
As Leonard Cohen so beautifully and painfully discovered; there is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.
Loving yourself doesn’t make you selfish. That’s is why all the great religions of the world speak about loving in so many parables and stories. We are very stubborn to let go and be who were born to be.
It is all very simple.
You were born in a glorious time. A glorious time, because it is always a glorious time to be alive.
You are experiencing life as it happens. You are part of creation, not a slave of it. You are learning by experimenting and testing your surroundings.
You are called to love.
The first person that needs love is you.
Look in a mirror.
Look closely at your own reflection, and pay a special attention to your eyes. Stand there in perfect stillness. What words come to mind?
Do you heap abuse on yourself? Do you hear that you are stupid? A failure? Are you too fat? Too old? Have too many wrinkles? Blackheads? Moles? Does your hair grow in places it shouldn’t? Do you live in perpetual regret?
What you say to yourself when no one is around matters. Most likely, you avoid yourself, by numbing your mind with television, music, Facebook, Instagram, and all other substances, prescribed or otherwise.
Remember that happiness and success come to a sober mind that accepts and loves itself.
It’s a commandment. Not a trivial matter.
So, love yourself.
What do you stand to lose?
Keep a journal of all the things you are grateful for, and write in it at the end of every single day. Record the great things you’ve accomplished. We forget so quickly who we are, or what we mean to others. We need to be reminded often.
When you have a horrible day, the thought you run to at that moment will become your new reality, and so we must develop the discipline to keep looking back daily, so we can remember and challenge the lies that define and distort who we are.
Renew your friendship with your mirror.
Say something nice about yourself.
Keep a journal.