It doesn’t matter how you feel right now, how you want to hide, run away, and don’t know what to do with yourself. I mean it matters because you matter, but all of the things that are making your feelings race inside your being in a million directions are going to eventually tire themselves out and you will have clarity once again. So it doesn’t matter how you feel. Feel it away. Do what you can to cope that isn’t self destructive. Don’t look back. Don’t look ahead. Keep it together and continue walking, no matter how gingerly, walking forward, at whatever pace your will allows you to walk.
It doesn’t matter how you feel or what you think. It doesn’t matter what others feel and think. Nor does it matter how hopeless things look, or how badly you’ve fucked things up, yes fucked up. Messing up can be fixed, a good fuck up is very difficult to over come. But even the most megnatorious fuck up (yes there is no such word as megnatorious, but go with it), even the most megnatorious fuck up can and will be overcome.
I cannot tell you how or when. I cannot promise you a future I don’t control, but I can and do promise that the way you feel and the way you think, or the opinion that other people may hold of you will and can change.
I’m not even going to bother giving you examples because there are so many. There are so many second chances that its not worth mentioning them. And what matters most is that you don’t fling your life or your purpose too far in the opposite direction. Don’t yard sale your stuff and don’t move. Don’t quit your job. Don’t end your relationships. Not yet anyway. Not until you find peace again, are grounded again, and find your sense of purpose again.
It doesn’t matter.
That is the only thing that matters. Without you nothing happens, so be kind and nice to yourself because you need it. This is not some kind of sappy Hallmark moment although it probably reads as one, because there is no greater force in the universe than love. Genuine, authentic, agape love. Unconditional, unmeasurable, and uncontainable. You need to accept and dish out some of that love to yourself and everyone you see, especially those that fight you or constantly look down at their feet.
Take charge of what matters, let your feelings take their course. Don’t fight them. Don’t try to stop them, but go through them. Whatever it takes. Walking out in the cold freezing rain is not pleasant, but if you’ve done it, once you’re wet, life returns to normal, a wet normal of course, but it does lose its importance. And eventually you do get out of the cold and dry out, and put on a fresh, dry set of clothes, and life feels magical and wonderful at that moment.
Focus on that moment. It is coming. It is coming even if you don’t want it to. It is coming because it doesn’t matter what you are facing or how you feel about yourself. Your life matters and your dreams are worth the effort and have solid foundation. A foundation you built when it was lovely outside, so don’t let rain or how you feel change what doesn’t need to be change.
Learn that it doesn’t matter. Become what matters and become the megnatorious fighter that you are.
Cover photo generously provided by photographer Nathan Dumalo via unsplash.com