Each and every day I take slow and imperfect steps. I sometimes imagine what people think I know or who I am, because inside I feel like an organized mess, but yes a committed mess, and I think that is what makes a difference.
Over the last two years I have become somewhat comfortable taking those imperfect steps. Perhaps comfortable is the wrong word, but it has somehow become a part of who I am.
I am not really sure who writes all these words each and every morning, or why he cares, or who he thinks will read it today, or in the future, but that’s just it. The person who I was longed to be chosen. He longed to know that the effort put in today would bear fruit tomorrow. That his work mattered. That his life mattered. The person today is not much different. I still want to know that my life matters, really truly matters, to someone because that is the only reason to want to improve and be better in the first place.
I want to know, despite how good it feels to accomplish something each and every day, it would be nice to know where this is all going. Maybe I would dress a little better, dance a little better, or show up a little sooner. But that is not to be. I do not know what the future hold or what value anything I do will have for anyone at any time, and so I am faced with imperfect steps, steps I take each and every day, because walking in an unknown direction is still better than comfortably resting and standing still.
Don’t stand still. I would beg you to keep moving. There are four directions and an infinite number of possibilities. Find yours and continue your imperfect steps.
You have many steps in you and it would be a shame if you just stand there because you don’t have a place to go. Pick one. It doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t have to be right, it just has to be right now. It doesn’t have to be easy, it just has to be accessible. Don’t talk yourself out of being grate or falsely claim that you don’t deserve to be you and have everything that you dream of having and being.
Remember that the meaning of life is discovered while living. The purpose of our existence is tapped into when we are busy doing something else. A lot of it has to do with being open to the possibilities that are to come, of being present, and not just finding more things for us to do.
So, about those imperfect steps. Why don’t you take some today. Why don’t you move in a direction you’ve never moved before. Ask for things you’ve never asked before. Do things you’ve never done before. Read things you’ve never read before. See the beauty in life like you’ve never seen before.
I will continue my imperfect steps today. It seems to be the only thing that I am able to do very well. I hope you find the grace to continue yours. Perhaps our paths we’ll meet along the way, and we can tell others that standing still serves nobody any good, because there is much of life that begs to be explored.
Cover photo generously provided by photographer Christian Chen via unsplash.com