Sometimes there are days like today when I don’t want to write. Days where my feeling tell me I have nothing worthwhile to say anyway, that I’m nothing more than a rejected parrot, that nothing is going to come of nothing anyway. There are not many days like today, but I believe they will never end entering my life. I don’t know if its a checks and balance thing, either way it’s not pleasant, but I’m not going to let how I feel stop what I intend to do.
Sounds a lot nicer written down than it does when you live it out, but I’ve given myself no choice in the matter and I believe that is what has been driving me for almost two years.
I wholeheartedly believe that it is more important to be finished than to be successful. Being done belongs to me, but success belongs and can be found in the hands of someone else. They are two separate things that may or may not merge. They are like a lunar or solar eclipse. At some point, depending on where you are in the world, you are lucky to witness one of them, but that doesn’t deny the existence of the sun or the moon independent of each other. And so I believe that it is critical to be done. That is what a professional does.
I am writing today because I said I would. I am checking my word count, so I can close this down, and run away to do something else. Amazing really, writing in a stream of consciousness and giving yourself the freedom to just speak your mind without being right or wrong.
How often do we stop ourselves from being or doing things that we ought to do? Why do we reject our efforts before they are finished and shared with the world? Why are we so afraid to share ourselves and what we create with others?
We have a real issue with failure. We are mortified of being successful, but that’s for another place and another time. For now think about your moments when your feelings and competence felt low. What did you do? Reach for potato chips? Slam the door? Crack open a can of beer? But why not honour the commitments you have made to yourself? Commitments that need to be honoured in good weather and especially when the storm or the fog comes.
I don’t want to write today but that is not going to stop me. Success and happiness is a state of being. It is a decision. It is a commitment. It is not a series of steps or a seven step program. Life can be a rough go sometime. It ain’t all rainbow and unicorns, but don’t hate the rainbows or the unicorns either.
Finish what you started. Do what you said you were going to do. Honour yourself and your dreams, and on the off chance that you fail, that you fail to write, that you run away and hide, remember that when the storm clears, it is ok to rebuild. It is not just ok, it is what you must do. Don’t let anything stop you. Don’t let you get you. Be kind and loving to yourself and be kind and loving to everyone you meet.
Especially if you don’t want to write today.
Cover photo generously provided by photographer Eduardo Olszewski via unsplash.com