You don’t want to and you wouldn’t be the first to say it, too think it, and not do it. I guess there is no shame in that, because it’s common. Very common. So common that there is great comfort in numbers. Millions of people don’t feel like doing things and so nothing happens, nothing changes, nothing triumphs.
In a sense it’s foolish to rage war against not wanting to be or to do something. It’s a war that has been waged for millennia, a war which might not be worth fighting, and struggle not worth engaging in. But, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t or that there isn’t a way to turn the corner, to be uncomfortably different.
I don’t wanna.
I don’t want to wake up so early. I don’t wanna be poor. I don’t want to be hung over. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t wanna be unhappy. I don’t wanna face this or that anymore. I don’t want to be lonely. I don’t wanna be here again and again and again and again.
But how often to you stop and ask yourself what you want?
What do you really want?
Can you describe it? Is it possible for you to put into words what you see so that someone, anyone, can see and taste what you’re after? What is it that you want? Since it is pretty clear it’s easy to see all the things you don’t want, and that begs a question. Once you can articulate and are certain of what you want, do you know what sacrifices and pain you have to go through to get it? Have you considered what you will have to give up in order to get what you want? Have you calculated the cost? Do you know the time, the energy, and the money it will take to be a able to wanna?
Here’s the thing. It is easy to say that we don’t want to be or do something. It only takes a few words, a few seconds, a few friendly nods, or a few I knows, and nothing will continue to happen or be.
The hard part is to wanting to be someone. The hard part is wanting change. To dream of being someone that at this very moment seems so distant and such an impossible reality, but no matter.
If you spend some time searching and asking the right questions you will come to know what you want. You will come to understand what you must be willing to sacrifice. You will know the cost you have to pay, and then, even if you wake up tired or cranky, and the words I don’t wanna burst out of your mouth with ease, even when they anxiously batter your mind so early in the morning. If you know what you want. If you really know what you want and what it will take to get it, you’ll move, you’ll jump, no matter how painfully or how slowly. You’ll wanna even if you don’t wanna.
And you know what?
One day, you won’t help but get there. One day, when you least expect it, your dreams will surround you like morning mist, and there will be no more I wanna’s because you will be and have what you dreamed to be and have. One day you’ll be inside your dream, and won’t that be lovely? One day you’ll triumph, but remember one more thing.
Dreams come in string. One dream is always connected to another. All human beings have this very unsatisfying and continuous thirst for life, a thirst that continuously pushes us forward to discover more and live with more purpose, and thank God for that. If our dreams didn’t come on a string, we would still be rubbing sticks to make a fire and hiding in our damp caves and discussing what we didn’t wanna.
Cover photo generously provided by photographer Howling Red via unsplash.com
