Being silent is not easy.
Finding the time for it is one thing, but summoning the courage to face yourself, in your disjointed mind, is something else. But ignoring yourself and avoiding silence all together, is even worse.
Embracing and surrounding yourself with all this noise, for long periods of time, is an unnecessary burden. A burden you need not carry. A type of metaphorical sea weed, that entangles you, ensnares your mind, and pulls you to the bottom. Lulls your life into a comfortable non-existence.
It’s a subtle form of theft. An undetectable act of robbery. For noise steals your daily chance to get in touch with who you are, why you’re here, and where you long to be. And this subtle, permit able theft and unapologetic act of thievery, often bears terrible and devastating consequences.
But I guess those who know better might be right.
There is nothing wrong with avoiding silence, and bathing in the petulant sea of sound.
You can, in fact, I guess, still hope to discover who you are, why you’re here, and where you want to be, without silence, but I would caution you, about the quality of your research.
I would caution you about the somewhat disjointed vision of yourself that you’ll discover, when the whole world is talking at the same time.
It is hard to hear the quiet voice within, when you’re pressured to respond to the booming gongs, and deafening drums, running unbridled, outside.
You should really question your thoughts and feelings. They may be broken. Distorted. Disjointed. Angry.
Don’t worry about your freedom of speech but concern yourself with the freedom of thought instead. Especially when you find yourself at the mercy of the impenetrable wall of noise.
Noise.
Not all noise is terrible.
Sometimes noise can be a beautiful thing, but even beautiful, very purposeful clamour, in the end, only distorts and distracts us from ourselves. It lulls us to sleep. Numbs our senses. Whispers that everything is fine, when it’s not. Reassures us that it will all be better tomorrow.
That is if you let noise imprison silence.
Silence is not easy.
It can’t be controlled or manipulated. It won’t be ignored or discarded. It screams loudly and insists on change. On growth. On some kind of purposeful living.
The good silence does, at least. The bad silence, is just noise, that has found a way in, uninvited.
If you don’t like yourself or perhaps hate yourself, deep down, in the stillness of silence, you will hear yourself, accuse yourself, of some heinous things.
You will witness stormy fits of anger, outbursts of tearful regret, gusts of indignation, and paroxysms of self-pity.
Silence is not easy.
At first you will want to run. Find your way back to the comfort of noise. And minutes will feel like hours. Hours will feel like days. It will all seem impossible. A mythologically made up impossibility.
In time, however, it gets easier.
In time, in fact, silence becomes very beautiful.
You’ll begin to crave it. Treat it like a secret love affair. Check into hotels with it, under an assumed name. You’ll keep it a secret. Deny its existence. Desire its company.
A day will come when you’ll finally get tired of throwing insults at yourself. You’ll take a little break, and begin to see your undeniable human dignity, and start to plan the rest of your life.
You’ll discover memories and dreams that have been dormant for way to long. You’ll embrace talents you have hid away or long denied, for fear of laughter.
With a little bit of silence, and in time, you’ll come to understand you purpose.
You’ll understand the meaning for your life.
You’ll see past the noise.
You’ll see yourself.
Not as you’re seen, but as you truly are.
