This is not for me.
Ever since I turned the corner recently and see things a lot more clearly in my life, the words this is not for me were absent from my daily repertoire. I always struggled and tried to fit in. I cared a touch too much about the opinions of others, and before you jump to the wrong conclusions, it’s not like I have now learned to shun all of humanity, it’s just that I have learned to be at peace with myself and know that some things are not for me. Some things are not meant for them either, and that’s perfectly ok.
We’re all alright, or we can be if we choose to be, but even if the other person chooses not to be, there is never a good reason to change your own mind. Life is too short, and too beautiful, to spend it wrapped up in other peoples revolving ideology and arguing for the sake of arguing. At some point we must all accept adulthood.
If you like to fight or crave attention, there are plenty of places get your kicks and plenty of people to engage your energy with, but that is not for me. There are a lot of keyboard warriors out there. They have all the time in the world to take you on and they believe they are making a difference. They charge in with great passion but they lack the patience and do not practice civility, openness, and are unable to seeing life from all sides. But life is ambiguous.
Life is very ambiguous; full of obscure ideas that confuse and enlighten at the same time.
We need more ambiguity in our life. We need to develop the sense that this may be right but that might be right also. We have to embrace the ambiguity of life because that is the only way we will sift through what is important and not get hung up on things that don’t matter.
Love for example is very ambiguous. You risk so much because you have to open yourself up to another person on a very deep level. But if you don’t, you’re not really in love or loved. That’s ambiguous. You are sheltered and protected, but also the most vulnerable you have ever been.
The same is true with what we do with our lives. We become doctors, accountants, teachers, managers, and restaurant servers, but we are far more than that. You just can’t tell who someone is or what they have gone through in their life by simply looking at them or listening to them for a few minutes. You can’t assess what their politics are. You can’t predict what they are going to do or not to do. You can of course make assumptions. You can try to change them. You can try to convert them, or bring them to your side. You can also just simply yell at them and gang up on them, but for what purpose.
This is not for them and they are not for you.
We are everything to each other and we are nothing at the same time. We are born so that one day we can die. We build so that someone else can destroy. We destroy so that others may build. We create and hand the world beautiful art, free of charge, so that someone else can sell it on a t-shirt, or sell it at an auction, and be worth even more once it’s shredded.
We need more ambiguity in our life. We need to live our lives in the grey. We need more awe and wonder. More of everything and a lot less nothing. We need to know that this is not for you and that is not for me.
Cover photo generously provided by photographer Victor Garcia via unsplash.com