There is always something, something new, something different that changes everything and we are honest with ourselves, we hate it. We hate it because we want things to be the same. I know I do. Maybe I don’t want things to be the same. That might get pretty boring, fairly fast, but we want things to be the same because we want things to last.
It seems I am now living my fifth or sixth life. I don’t know the exact incarnations but when I look back the people I knew, the places I’ve been have disappeared. If it wasn’t for the fact that there is a few people that can collaborate my memories I could be convinced that none of it was real, that it was just a dream. But it was real. My life in Poland as a child. My deep love for my parents. My shy teenage years and my argumentative twenties are all a part of me, but there is always something.
There is always something new, a new day, a new opportunity and I am glad that I am not given a choice in the matter. I am the person who dips their toe in the water and if its not pee warm takes forever to enter a pool. At least I am consistent in all aspects of my life. Change always manages to pick me up and just toss me into the water without apology, because why would it apologize, it is all for my own good.
Intellectually I totally understand, love, and embrace change. I really do but I don’t like it. I don’t like it because I want things to last. I want there to be a Heaven. I believe in love. I also believe that peace and kindness will one day be normal in our world. That day however won’t come of our own making. Change will happen. Humanity will be thrown into the pool. Perhaps an alien invasion or another rock, like the one that killed the dinosaurs will play with us once more.
There is always something. Thank God for the somethings in our lives and for the irony that what we need the most, we stay clear of most often.
Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@adam_mathieu
