The key to success rests in the power not to think in terms of all or nothing.

It is not easy.  Existing in extremes is wonderfully addicting.  Why should we take the time to save a little bit of money every month, when the big lottery win is just around the corner?

We have learned over time to either want everything now, or to simply give up and accept nothing at all.

This puts an unnecessary burden on our lives. It makes us turtle at the first sign of failure.  It leads us to embrace false gods.  Invest in false promises.  Get pushed and pulled by the unnecessary extremes of living and dying.

But why are we so reluctant to embrace the grey?  The in between?  To become a work in progress? 

We want it today.  We want it now.  Like petulant children, we stomp our feet, and run away when things aren’t going well.

Where does that bring us?


It is journey of a thousand steps that leads to a land of nowhere.  A magical land where nothing ever happens, except that we grow a little older, gaze jealously at the talented souls all around us, and scream deep seeded obscenities at ourselves in unreserved frustration.

Rome wasn’t built in a day and the Notre Dame Cathedral took some two hundred years to construct. 

Think about that? 

What would make a human being invest in a project they have no earthly right to ever see to its divine completion?

My mother and father taught me this lesson.

The Polish church we belonged to when we came to Canada lacked a physical building.  The priest and the parish community, rented the chapel at Cardinal Carter High School in Scarborough for many years, and collected funds to one day build their own sanctuary. 

My mom and dad gave money every Sunday.  They gave what they could.  They were persistent.  They were insistent.  They lived in between.

In the end, we moved away, and I never once stepped foot inside the new Church that was built some time later. 

I asked my mom one day, looking back, if it was worth it, and she replied that you don’t build a
Church for yourself.  You build a Church for everyone.  You do what you can with what you got, and you leave the rest to God.

I think you should build something.  Go make a ruckus.

Design the architectural plans.  Start looking and collecting the bricks and mortar you need.  Ask for help.  Accept the help.  Be grateful.  Be happy. 

Start with a good foundation.

Don’t go all in and don’t abandon the project because you think you are not good enough, smart enough, or young enough.

Become a great architect of your dreams.

Live in the grey moment of your life.  Take up residence in the in between.  Learn to be at peace as a magnificent work in progress.

Stop gambling.

Start living.