Toastmasters Speech delivered on Tuesday, June 5th, 2018. “A timid heart”.
A Timid Heart
There are many styles of communication and as speakers we weave in and out of them depending on what we want to accomplish.
Sometimes we become very direct. Our competitive side comes out to play. Our independence and confidence shines and demands results. We speak to make sure we get what we want.
Other times we initiate. We are a little timid to be direct and so we initiate conversations in order to be sociable. We have no precise aim but we want to be with others. We are less concerned about results because we understand the importance of feeling accepted and the importance of accepting others. We know the trust cannot be built over the weekend. It is a slow and steady process and an important one.
Sometimes we become very logical. We get wrapped up in very systematic and task-oriented ways of doing things. We become very organized, diplomatic, and procedural. We work to spec. We make great progress but we withhold our opinion unless we are asked.
Or we can become supportive and this is where my strength lies.
This is a very sincere, calm, and gentle form of communication. It is very patient and careful. It is very loyal, dependable, and cooperative. This is a communication style that abhors conflict and prefers praise to be given privately so that no one knows and nobody feels left out.
We weave in and out of these communication styles depending on what we need to do. ‘We pick and choose them like tools in a tool box, but there is a style of communication that we are most comfortable with.
It’s important to know your dominant style because you can focus on the other ones.
I am a very reserved person by nature which is why I embrace a very supportive style . I have an older brother but because we are nine years apart I have pretty much lived my whole life as an only child. When you emigrate at twelve years old to a country who’s culture you don’t understand, and whose language you don’t speak, your sense of belonging becomes very tattered. Disjointed at best. For this reason I spent a lot of time alone, but I learned to become patient and kind.
I am very shy by nature but something inside of me desired to become a teacher and so I did.
Eighteen years later I have been cured of my shyness or have my shyness beaten out of me.
If I am ever meeting someone for the first time I always arrive first so that I am not the centre of attention and I will choose a seat somewhere where I can see the door. My inner being abhors the unknown. It dislikes change with a passion.
This is exactly why I am in Toastmasters. To make sure I don’t neglect who I can become by becoming more direct, more initiating, and more logical.
I believe you are here for the same reason and I urge you to find out your style and be brave in trying to communicate with a purpose.
Say what you mean.
Don’t wait for permission.
Figure it out.
Help others with their dreams, and you will certainly be rewarded with yours.
Cover photo generously provided by photographer Simon Migaj via unsplash.com